Resolution

Some people need help to stop grieving. They feel that in some way they are disloyal to the deceased if they begin to enjoy life again, and they may respond to a reminder that he or she would not want them to continue in perpetual grief. Other people remain cocooned in the withdrawal from grief because, lonely and miserable though it is, it spares them the stress of adjustment to a new role. It takes courage to go out and make a new social life alone, to accept the very different status of widowhood or single parenthood. Only gradually do the feelings of anxiety and insecurity give way to a new confidence. This process of beginning again can be made easier with the support and friendship of others who have had a similar experience, either informally or through an organisation such as Cruse.

Many bereaved people will always remain lonely, for it may not be possible for them to find another relationship as fulfilling as that which has been lost. Others develop in new ways, almost as if the old relationship, though satisfying many mutual needs, nevertheless inhibited the bereaved individual from reaching his true potential. When grieving is over, the bereaved behaves as someone released and surprises themself and their friends as they discover new interests, or takes up pursuits that had been long pushed aside by the demands of earning a living and raising a family. For some, the discovery that one can survive and even grow through a major bereavement adds strength to the character and allows them to live with more equanimity than before. This is the ideal outcome, but there are many complications and hindrances to the completion of the grieving process. The recognition of these is important as timely intervention may relieve some of the increased suffering, and allow the process to move on again, nearer to resolution.